Monday, July 20, 2015

StyleFiles: Summer Stripes

|| Wearing ||
Dress: LOFT {exact} - only $27 right now! {same dress in black} - only $20!!
Crossbody: Old Navy {similar}
Wedges: Nine West {similar} {similar} - both on SALE! 

This LOFT dress is one of my top 3 favorite dresses currently in my closet right now.  It's so light & comfy & I feel like it fits so well! I def recommend sizing down though, it runs big. 
BTW In case you missed it up there... this dress on super sale today! is 60% OFF and Sale is additional 40% OFF!
whoop! whoop!

So... remember when I talked here about being jealous of the perfect red lipstick... well, I may have found my favorite.  And guess what? It was from CVS... and it is Revlon.  I usually go with the sticks that look like oversized pens, you know those big guys? but the other day when I went looking they were sold out of all of the red shades, so I decided to be adventurous. I'm so glad I did! The color isn't too orange, which I feel like has been a problem for me in the past.  

|| Wearing || Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick in Certainly Red

and here is a kiss from me to you on this Monday! 
haha {what the heck is with those crazy eyes?!}

{What's your favorite shade of lipstick?}

Hope y'all had a wonderful weekend!

~ xoxo ~

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

One Year Later || Until I See You Again

This past Monday, July 13th, marked one year since my brother suddenly passed away. To even say one year just hurts.  It doesn't seem possible.  I think part of me keeps thinking I will wake up and this past year would have been one really long, awful nightmare.  It's like my brain knows he's not here, but my heart and soul ache for him to be here so badly.  It is a constant war inside my body.  

To be honest, this is not what I planned on writing at all.  I planned on making this a post of pictures and a sweet thank you to all of our family & friends that came out to remember his life.  But now, sitting here, I'm crying and it seemed so unattached, so not real life at all.  

So this is real life.  

Monday morning I could barely write a balloon to him because nothing seemed right, nothing was enough, nothing was the massive book of thoughts inside my head.  I thought about this past year, I wanted to tell him about life- how mom & dad are doing, what his friends are up to, how there were SO many times I wanted to call and talk to him, but I couldn't, and that made me mad.   I thought about this past year and nothing seemed special enough to mention. I wanted to tell him that I feel like there will be no more memories made in my mind because I refuse to make them without him in them.  As I sat in my car that morning, my mind flooding with all of these thoughts, my favorite song came on, the one that reminds me of him so much, 'See You Again.'  I sat there and listened to it and I thought about the day when I will get to see my brother again. HUGE SMILE. I don't want to get up there and tell him I stopped living, stopped making memories.  Then he would be mad at me.  We can't have that.  So right there, in my car, on my way to work, I decided I would do exactly what he would want -  Start making memories worth telling him about.

So my message to him looked much different than I expected, but I think he will enjoy reading this version much more. 

I miss you like crazy, more and more everyday.  
I decided that there was no better day than today to start making memories for you.  
I can't wait to tell you all about them when I see you again.

That felt right.

If you have made it to this point in the post, thanks for sticking around :)  For those who weren't there on Monday this is what we did-

We decided to get together with family and friends at the fields where he played football for so many years. Football was truly his first LOVE.  We talked about sweet memories, my family learned more about how Josh has continued to impact his friends lives, and we wrote him messages of love on balloons.  We released them into the sky & it was beautiful.  

For all of those that did come- A HUGE thank you from my family.  Your love, support, and encouragement means more to us than you will ever know.  I am so very grateful for each and every person who filled my brother's life with love.  Thank you.  

~ xoxo ~

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Living || Life Lately from A to Z

So I love reading Julie's blog Peanut Butter Fingers and last week she posted a fun little blog survey that just kind of touches on life from A to Z. I thought it would be fun to join in so... here ya go, life from A to Z...

a || Age: 26

b || Biggest Fear: Well, this is starting off interesting.  I guess I will go ahead and be really honest and transparent.  It's the fear of not being able to get pregnant.  I have never been told I can't get pregnant, but for some reason I just have this strong feeling I can't.  I have been assured trying for a year is totally normal.  I try to remind myself it's God's timing, not mine but, still.  I cry about it a lot. Hopefully I am just doing a lot of pointless worrying, hence letter w.  

c || Current Time: 11:20am

d || Drink you last had: Coffee - go figure! 

e || Easiest person to talk to: The Hubs... he's on this little list a lot.  It's kind of like I love him or something ;)

f || Favorite Song: See You Again - Wiz Khalifa. Reminds me of my brother - When I sing it, I sing it to him. 

g || Grossest Memory: Okay. Warning this is nasty... When I was probably 6 my bff and I shared a coke and a corn dog.  She took a sip then I took a sip but it had a little something extra, some of her chewed up corndog.  Let's just say, no more sharing drinks and def no more corn dogs! ugh!

h || Hometown: Acworth, GA

i || In love with: The Hubs and Asher.  I love the little home we've built and I can't imagine sharing this life with anyone else. 

j || Jealous of: Girls who find the perfect red lipstick. I try, I just can't. Do you have it?! Please tell me what your secret weapon is! 

k || Kindest person you know: my mom & my best friend, Kirsten. 

l || Longest relationship: 5 1/2 Years with the Hubs :)

Back when we just started dating...

m || Middle name: Nicole. When I was younger I wanted to change my name to Nicole, mostly because a) I hated being called Daniel and b) some people called me Dani Boy... like, why? Scarring for a young girl, ya know? haha I seemed to have recovered though...

n || Number of siblings: This is a really weird one for me to answer. People ask me, I still feel strange answering it.  So I will answer it in terms like this: Alive - 2 step brothers, Matt & Nick; Up in heaven: 1 brother, Josh 

he clearly got his silly face skills from me...

o || One wish: I could talk to my brother again.  The night it happened.  Before he made that decision that ended his life.  I talk more about him and what happened in this post: Pain, Forgiveness, & Healing

p || Person you spoke to on the phone last: The Hubs 

q || Question you are always asked: "Is that your natural hair?!" I have naturally extremely curly and unruly hair and yes, I hate it and I know one day I will love it!

r || Reason to smile: Dancing in my favorite dress :) More awesome twirling skills here

s || Song you last sang: "We Got It Goin' On" - Backstreet Boys. Thank you 90s Pop Radio on Pandora!

t || Time you woke up: Today was my day off - yay! Slept in until 8am! Which if you know me, is actually really late!

u || Underwear color: this is kinda weird... so... my workout shorts are coral & grey 

v || Vacation destination: Hawaii.  My grandma took me there for 3 weeks when I graduated college.  We did a cruise around all of the islands + stayed on the main land.  I absolutely freakin loved it! The people, the food, the chill mood everywhere.  It was perfect.  

w || Worst habit: Worrying. I know it's pointless.  I worry about that fact too. endless cycle. 

x || X-Rays you've had: none come to mind...

y || Your favorite food: Does coffee & wine count as food? haha kidding... umm, lately probably sushi.   

z || Zodiac sign: Scorpio.  

{Have you done a life lately post? I would love to read it! 
Share the link below! }

~ xoxo ~

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

StyleFiles: Life's A Dance

|| Wearing ||
Dress: Lavender Boutique {exact} - almost sold out!
Bralette: Francesca's {exact
Sandals: H&M (old) {Love these!} - 50% OFF!
Bag: Kate Spade {similar}

You know that song 'Life's A Dance'? The lyrics go something like:

"Life's a dance you learn as you go
Sometimes you lead,
Sometimes you follow
Don't worry about what you don't know
Life's a dance you learn as you go"

Well a) I just really like that song but b) the lyrics are so applicable to my life right now... way too much worrying about silly things I can't control or I am afraid I don't know enough about. I am my own worst enemy.  And sometimes that stops me from stopping, taking a breath, and dancing.  So, today I am reminding myself that God is in the lead, I am following Him, and I am going to dance about it.... 

Wishing you the happiest of Wednesday! 
Don't forget to get your twirl on :) 

~ xoxo ~